i know you say; stay strong, get better, sorry about it..

but when you really think about it, its so much harder.

when you let someone walk right in as a friend, get closer with them..
and they eventually tell you they're in like, you're in shock.
you act as if its completely fine.. still secretly knowing its awkward, as it is normally,
but you smile and be yourself. okay. so you know he likes you, suddenly you start falling.
small smiles, glances and continuous eye contact.. you're surrounded by only air.

then, he catches you.

you're always together. everybody says 'perfect'.
like alpha & omega, people and facebook, clothes and shoes.

it slowly came together;

the first hug. the first longest handshake. the first kiss.

long, late night conversations and being caught.

you thought you were inseparable, bulletproof.

until the long days without the hugs, the contact.

without the silly jokes and good times.. he was quiet.

he never seemed like this before, but he covered it.. so well.

no more glances, silence.

maybe he dropped you, maybe he just slipped you away.

but you're honest, you wanted to be clear; no more confusion.
you asked him. you asked him to be honest.
and he came clear.. to move on.

stunned but understandable.. you think, okay.
it's happened before. take it easy, take it slow.
but deep breaths dont work, sorry.

tears.

he said he was a jerk, you denied every part of it.
why? because you still thought of him the same way.
you know it wasnt his fault that he felt this way. it wasnt a choice..

wasnt from his mind; but from his heart.

this time, i learnt more than ever.

but i still wish you were here.

this is my vanilla twilight.